How to Hold a Paradox

Hand-drawn "Vent Diagram," two overlapping circles with text written in each, reading: "Spiritual practice is essential to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. / If a spiritual practice does not directly link to peace, justice, and liberation it is a useless waste of time."

Have you noticed that Buddhism seems to feature paradoxes? Contemplative practice requires of us both ease and effort. A strong meditation posture is both relaxed and alert. Meditation is about being with things as they are, but don't we do it in order to transform, or at least become... awakened? Enlightened? Some version of a more actualized self?

And what about the tension between loving and accepting the world as it is, while fighting for fundamental change? Tension, paradox, and contradiction may be essential to our practice and our lives. Over 150 years ago, American poet Walt Whitman gave voice to this reality with these lines:

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

from "Song of Myself", Part 51

A useful tool for "ventilating" the paradoxes that we hold dear is to make Vent Diagrams! You draw intersecting circles and then write in the circles two (or more) truths of your life that seem mutually exclusive. But that space in the middle, though! That's the sweet spot of holding the paradox, living into rather than trying to "solve" the koan.

My healing gifts are not valued in a capitalist society. So I have to do work that does not support my healing. / My purpose is to be the healer I was born to be. (Scroll to the very bottom for more image descriptions.)

Playing with vent diagrams can be a great way to vent your frustrations at just how hard it can be to contain multitudes. Inspired by the diagrams shown here, all made by Block Build Be 2019 participants, I've made a few of my own as a way of articulating tensions I'm currently struggling with: The earth is doomed / How can I fight better and stronger? Caring for this person / Caring for myself. Just putting these down on paper actually gives me some relief.

At BPF, we think it's crucially important to make time to explore deeply the paradoxes at the intersection of spiritual-political work. Our upcoming Block Build Be gathering (July 1-5, 2020) will be an great opportunity to do this, with like-minded community! Applications are open!

Even if you can't make it to the Block Build Be gathering, you can try making vent diagrams for yourself! For some inspiration, check out these amazing spiritual-political diagrams from the last BBB gathering (shared with permission)! Let us in the paradoxes you're holding in the Comments section below.

Captions, in order:

• I strive towards a fearless embrace of justice, truth, accountability & repair where harm has occurred, especially in my most intimate relationships. / I hold those around me as precious & sacred just as they are, opening into unconditional love — no matter what.

• I strive for happiness & wellness for myself & others while living eco friendly. / Sometimes my efforts are ignored... But, that's ok :)

• We are living in urgent times where our survival is dependent upon sustained, strategic, + collective action. / I want to experience joy, liberation + transformation in this body, in this lifetime in connection to all life that surrounds me.

• Genocide of Indigenous Peoples across this land & the globe for capitalism, greed, & oppression. / We are ALL stewards of this earth. "The land belongs to no one."

• I am being called to do work centered around racial healing, transformation, retribution, reparations. / I am attached to my Blackness and I don't know how to exist liberated from racial trauma. —> It defines me, my community, and is a part of my magic.

• This place is I live in is PARADISE (nirvana). / Suffering is all around me... and inside me.

• Concentrate on my cultural identity (Japanese/Asian American) and specific Buddhist lineage — to develop my unique voice as spokesperson / Build relationships with people of other faith (+ other lineages of Buddhism) across racial, ethnic lines to work for social justice — be a supporter of young leaders in the spotlight

• As a physician in a hospital, I have the power & capacity to heal, reduce harm, support marginalized communities in crisis, and block a system causing suffering / As a physician in a hospital, I am propping up the medical industrial complex and therefore maintaining a system that causes oppression and stops us from getting free

• Fight companies & institutions harming my community & mother earth / invest effort to spark consciousness of people inside harming institutions

• i am committed to resisting food apartheid by providing fresh + nutritious food to folks in my community in a way that is sustainable for them, myself, + the planet / commercial farming has consistently put me into a relationship with the earth that feels exploitative and anthropocentric ("how will this land benefit humans above all else?")

• Visions/aspirations/goals: I have a drive to help, and a vision for what is possible. / Real constraints: I am so tired. I don't know if I have the energy to put forth what is actually required. And mostly just want to be alone. which is in opposition (?) to how this must get done. / Perceived constraints: Doubt. Do I really need to rest? Does this matter? Is this the "right" way? Is this helpful? How will I support myself?

• I'm desiring to align more intentionally around my values of non-harm with my food choices (and consumer choices). I'm moving back towards a primarily plant-based way of being. / I realize living within a capitalist economy makes it difficult at times to know how products are made and the scale of harm embedded in the foods/goods in use.

• I want to build a foundation of hope for those facing a life sentence with no hope for parole. / I cannot imagine the level of hope needed if there is no path to freedom.

• —> Change is possible! I always have a desire to change other people, to change the world. / Now I realize that I cannot change others unless I change myself in the first place.

• Supporting and creating spaces for healing, conflict transformation, liberation, and restorative justice/connection // This is not my battle as a trans/queer POC/it is not a good idea (i.e., risky) to get involved or utilize the skills I have. <—*angst*

• I want to live a life with good / My existence inherently causes negative environmental impact

• I need to take a break from consuming activist culture (social media, books, heroes, quotes, think pieces, take downs, etc.) / No one will listen to me if I don't keep up with the latest conversations, memes, analyses, language, norms, etc.