Timely, Kind, Honest, and Helpful: Dialogue On Turning Wheel Media

Just want to take a moment to shout out some of the really encouraging dialogue happening on Turning Wheel right now. As we know, disagreements on the Internet, even among Buddhists, often devolve into flame wars. Here on Turning Wheel, though, I'm grateful and inspired to have witnessed the exchange in comments on Nichola Torbett's piece, Recovery From the Dominant Culture, particularly between Nichola and a reader named Mark. Here are some excerpts just to give a taste.

Mark NicholsOctober 1, 2012 at 9:37 pm (Edit)I understant and agree and sympathize with many of the points made by Ms. Torbert, but I find the base argument to be too symplistic. Most of the white pepole of our early country did not own slaves and in fact many eurpoean whites were sent here as indentured servants, a forced servitude that ended often in death. Poor white men could not vote and, before the struggle for labor rights, lived in terrible poverty with their families. But if you look at any civilization around the world and at all times, nations were formed by conquest and the subjegation of the conquered population. In Asia, Africa, Europe,the Americas, and anywhere there have been people of ANY race, the story is the same. All races have been agressors and victimns.…If you want to live in my neighborhood then please be clean and respectful of my culture. Don’t trash it with beer bottles, cans. and fastfood bags,uneaten food, and even baby diapers that are thrown on the lawns and parkways and into the gutters. Don’t play loud music out your car windows where everyother word is Bitch, Whore, or that most awlful of words M””’F””and expect me to accept it because I won’t. We ALL have to respect each other.Nichola TorbettOctober 2, 2012 at 9:33 am (Edit)Thank you for your comment, Mark, and for your willingness to engage on some very difficult issues to talk about.In recovery programs, we have a practice of “cleaning up our own side of the street.” That means, rather than focusing on what is wrong with someone else and what they are doing, we focus on what we contribute to the problem and how we can change that. That means looking at our part not only in interpersonal conflicts, but in systemic problems such as economic exploitation, police brutality, environmental degradation, and so on.…You are right to point out that many white people were brought to this country as indentured servants and initially were treated much like enslaved Africans. What you may not know is what happened next: The state of Virginia led the way in passing a series of laws–the “slave codes”–designed to give white indentured servants some small privileges over their darker skinned co-laborers. For example, the laws stipulated ……Is littering, which you mention above, really worse than filling out streams, rivers, lakes, oceans, soil, and air with toxins? And is littering–if that is where you want to focus–solely perpetrated by people of color and poor people, as you seem to imply? Or is that a racialized myth you’ve bought into? These are the sorts of questions those of us in recovery from the dominant culture must face.I actually agree with you that domination, oppression, violence, and exploitation are not unique to white people. The tendencies toward those things seem to be universal. But because white people tend to be in charge, they are able to do much more damage with their tendencies under current social arrangements. The answer cannot just be flipping the tables, if that is what you are concerned about. We need to do the work of recovery from the *ways of being* that make up the dominant culture–not just white folks but all of us, to some degree–if real transformation is going to happen.

Having witnessed A LOT of internet fighting over similarly charged topics like racism, white privilege, and class power, this kind of dialogue, and especially Nichola's response, makes me want to do a Tiger-Woods-style fist pump. Not to put one person on a pedestal, though. In my view, it's important to keep in mind that

• We may not all share the same style of Noble Speech in disagreements (there are many valid styles).
• We all have different 'triggers' and buttons that may get pushed in contentious conversations. 
• People of color often bear a disproportionate burden to 'educate' others about the kind of racism their group faces; similar with trans & genderqueer folks and gender diversity, fat people and fatphobia, etc. This can be extremely draining and reinforce icky power dynamics, so it's good to avoid demanding, in entitled ways, explanations from someone about oppressions they face.
• Celebrating balanced responses does not mean we need to condone tone arguments (a common logical fallacy and defense mechanism where someone basically says, "I don't agree with your argument because it's phrased in a mean / angry / harsh / upset way").

Still, I see it as an example of healthy discourse across disagreement, and worth celebrating. Want to feel better about people? Read the whole exchange.Then, check out the other positive discussions happening in comments (recent comments appear in the righthand sidebar), and feel free to join in anywhere you like!  There's also other gems of discussion to be found in archived posts, from Mushim Ikeda's thoughtful reportback on BPF's "Who Speaks?" guerilla theater event, to Dawn's discussion on unraveling racism in our sanghas, both of which sparked some really good exchange.  Enjoy. :)